Working it NYC // Game Theory: Latin Lovers vs Hipster Ladies

I have the rare opportunity to be able to work from wherever I want. I’ve been going to several locations, based on hour of shift, current disposition, and desire to see other human beings.

If I’m feeling like I want to work in a collaborative mode I cowork. Coworking is a phenomenal invention. It’s a space for people who don’t need to go into an office everyday. My coworkers are web designers, journalists, video bloggers, and online activists. It’s a good place to work when I want to bounce ideas off of other people. I have learned a lot about mobile technology. I helped an activist group come up with a name (“SuperFundSuperFriendz.”)

On days when I feel semi corporate (not to be confused with days when I’m feeling the emo styling’s of Something Corporate), I’ll go to Current’s New York City ad sales office. I have my own desk there. They even gave me business cards, and a phone with my name on it. I also go here on days when I want to eat free Nutrigrain bars and drink free coffee.

When I have a California late shift, I work from my windowless room till 2am. It’s like a jail cell with free Wi-Fi. At the beginning of these shifts I try to get out of the house to engage in human contact.

I’ve been going to the coffee shop at the epicenter of gentrification in Bushwick. If you were running for hipster mayor of the neighborhood, you would start your campaign there.

Yesterday, some dudes at my table were speaking Spanish. I joined in. We talked about the shitty music the baristas were playing. The employees insist that 14-minute noise pieces sell the most coffee.

After I was done working, I invited them to a BBQ.

I didn’t know anybody at the party, but I got sufficiently drunk to engage in that setting. My Colombian friend made it a point to hit on every girl at the party.

Now imagine a hilarious set of circumstances. The comic technique we are working with is ‘culture clash.’ One participant in this context is from a loud, extroverted, sexually permissive culture… the other comes from a culture that might view these conditions unfavorably.

This party was populated by members of the Bohemian community, who are prone to presume that the overt sexual advances of a suave Colombian might be sexist. Now it is my first priority make sure people feel comfortable, but what could make a Latin woman swoon might make a liberal womyn cringe.

But “Rico Suave-ness” can be perceived as a cultural phenomenon, and Bohemians have a propensity towards relativism, so this social interaction can easily be diffused.

“So my friend isn’t creepy, that’s just how people from his country act… Wait you aren’t racist right?”

Occasionally the “race card” trumps the “gender inequality card.”

This could prove a successful strategy for “pulling girls.” You go to a party with a boisterous Latino. He overtly hits on women: “Where’s your boyfriend? Because I want to know who I have to fight for you.” Inevitably he’ll find someone receptive to his ‘suaveness’/ ‘sleaziness.’

For every girl who doesn’t appreciate his bravado, you as a clever soft-spoken hipster, can explain the cultural significance of his actions, while simultaneously engaging the mind of the girl in front of you.

You have just created a symbiotic relationship with your amigo. You’re explication has made him not seem like a jerk, and his audacity has brought sex to the center of the conversation with you’re future hipster girlfriend. Bravo.

As a side note, last night I lost my cell phone. It turned out that my Colombian friend had it. He was able to return it because there was a picture of me on the telephone. Sometimes narcissism pays off.

Another side note: Someone told me that her friend in DF looks exactly like me and his name is Dionisio. And you probably can imagine how much I love that name (Dionysus, Bacchus, Party Animal).

Comida Mexicano NYC

I'm reliving the Pachuca lifestyle, if only in accessibility to delicious food. Perhaps its the grace of the goddess Demeter, but I've moved into a neighborhood with a Mexican community. There are several Poblano eateries within a few blocks of my house. Poblano is the demonym for the residents of Puebla, a town an hour east of Mexico City. My town was an hour north, so the cuisine is similar.

I had legit albóndigas on Saturday at Taqueria La Asuncion.

Today on the way to the train a street vendor was selling $1 salsa verde tamales. That's what I ate every morning in Pachuca, at almost exactly the same price. Que rico guey!

Note, I have yet to find a delicious burrito in this city.

Today I'm working from Current in Manhattan. I can go in as often as I please. Someone in the office called me "slightly corporate." I guess that's a good way to describe this situation.

Hella New York experience

I was walking down the stairs to the subway, as people were getting off the train. Some kid yelled: "You're in the stairwell, stupid."

Hola, Nueva York.

So, I've fulfilled the birthright of all young Californians and made it back to the land of my ancestry, New York City. I am staying at my best friend since 2nd (minus 10th grade's) house six stops into Brooklyn.

Today I'm at Jelly, which is doing online work from someone else's apartment.

I just got hired full time at Current.com, and I have various other projects. (Ie. goofy bands)

In this city you can't tell if you are hungover, or tired, because the bars close way later.

I walked 500 miles yesterday, and I would walk 500 more today, if I got the chance.

I'll probably be a more prolific blogger in New York, than I was on Organic Farm.

Hasta, Joshua

Hello, I am moving to New York.

Friends,

After gardening the wastelands of Simi Valley for the past several weeks... I have come up with an excellent plan for my future.

As is the duty of all good Californians, I am moving east.

I'm doing it because it's something radically different, and New York is really fun. I will miss the tacos, but it's an acceptable trade for fantastic public transportation.

I have no job, furniture, or housing on that other coast. I only have a backpack, a plane ticket, and a MetroCard with 6 dollars on it.

If you know of any openings (job, apartment, art) please let me know.

I reckon I'll probably live in a previously-gentrified-yet-to-be-yuppified Brooklyn enclave, (hopefully along the 'L.') For employment I'd even work in an office.

You are invited to help me celebrate my departure on April 4th, at 7 PM, at the Tonga Hut in North Hollywood.

(It's Tiki-themed, but I like it because I can walk there from my parent's house, and I can get a taco afterwards. Let me know if you're interested.)

I leave LA on April 9th.


(yes, this is a thizz face)

Goodbye.

Early 90's Bars

Me and Amir C saw this cute girl in line at a bar, so we waited behind her.

She said it was a House Party, the movie, themed lesbian bar.

After a few seconds of deliberation we decided to enter.

We were the only dudes around. The cute girl started dancing with me.

"Um, are you a lesbian?" she asked.
"No, are you?"
"Yes" she responded adorably, "why are you here?"
"Um, because I just want to dance, without getting hit on."

True stories NYC.

PS.

House Party 2, is funny because it's supporting actors are now more famous then its stars.

NAACP Image Award winner Martin Lawrence
Academy Award Nominee Queen Latifah

... Christopher "Kid" Reid
... Christopher "Play" Martin

Viajes // ATTN: Friends in San Juan, New York, Chicago

I work via the internet so I'm taking a few weeks off from Los Angeles.

I am going to be in San Juan, Puerto Rico on Tuesday, November 27th.

I am staying at a swanky hotel financed by my mom's work.

On Sunday, December 2nd I am flying to NYC. I will spend a good deal of time there, perhaps 8 days.

I have a flight from Chicago to Los Angeles on December 19th. So I have to figure out how to get to the capital of the Midwest. I think I will take the 18 hour train.

There are talks of visiting my old tropical paradise, Isla Mujeres in December.

To be determined.

I am planning to offset my carbon by planting a tree, or more realistically by donating money for somebody else to plant a tree.

I am not rich, I just squander my savings on travel exploits.

IF YOU ARE IN ANY OF THESE LOCATIONS, PLEASE INFORM ME, SO WE CAN PROVERBIALLY "KICK IT."

-Joshua Heller

All academic and shit.

I was reading that 1959 Jack Kerouac joint, On The Road, and there was a passage that interested me.

"Dean had a sweater wrapped around his ears to keep warm. He said we were a band of Arabs coming in to blow up New York."

-p. 117

The first time I heard about Arabs blowing up New York was in 1993. Apparently there was an idea in popular culture about Arabs, Bombs, and New York over forty-five years before.

It could be a good research project.

Nueva

I was recently involved in a fantastic predicament, that left me in New York City two hours later than I had intended, but with a free ticket to anywhere in the continental United States.

When I arrived in the city. I ran around not knowing where I was supposed to go. I felt an exuberance not experienced since the last time I was in New York.

It's pretty good here.

New York

I'm going to New York tonight.

See you tomorrow morning.